#43 (un)Welcome to Paraguay

In our entire time in South America we have only met one tourist who has travelled to Paraguay. Possibly something to do with the little tourist infrastructure available, and the fact that it only emerged from the longest dictatorship in history in 2008. Still, our research suggested there was an abundance of wildlife and nature reserves, religious Mennonite colonies in the North and a down to earth people not often acquainted with tourists. The potential to meet inquisitive locals appealed to our narcissistic side and the possibility of spotting a puma in the wildlife seemed too good to be true (it was). As is often the case with preconceptions they were proved wrong. My first impression of Paraguay was one of absolute chaos, an ecological environment spoilt by progress, and of a people praying on the vulnerability of tourists.

To enter Paraguay from Brazil you must cross a three lane bridge over the Rio Parana. As we approached this bridge we were accosted from either side of the road by men waving pamphlets and shouting out 'estacionamiento' (car parking) as we drove by. We have been scammed in a similar though less frenetic situation before so were on guard. However, the next thing I know Reece is slamming on the breaks as one particularly brazen hawker stepped into the middle of the road, right in front of the bike with his hand out gesturing us to stop. Still we weren't biting - frankly the man should be thankful he still has his life.

In addition to cars, buses, and pedestrians making their way across the river were hordes of mototaxis. Bikes have their own designated lane, which we took thinking it would bypass some of the traffic, not appreciating the narrowness of the lane. It was a bit more of a tight squeeze for us to negotiate the speed bumps and curves. Of course most people crossing are Paraguayan or Brazilian citizens, neither of whom need a passport stamp so it was difficult to determine the exact location of the customs building. Finally we located the correct place and we were off, but not before receiving the following advice: it was far too hot to be travelling Paraguay at this time of year on a motorcycle and we should come back again in the winter. No wonder Paraguay doesn't get many tourists.

A national park seemed the best place to start to begin our search for the elusive South American puma. We needed to locate the Itaipu Dam visitors centre to obtain the necessary permissions to enter where we were headed further east. Things are done a bit differently in Paraguay. The national parks are not centrally governed and instead are run by a variety of different organisations from which permission is sometimes required for entry. Exactly from whom and where you obtain this is less clear.

We ended up at the wrong place but were given the opportunity to join a free tour of the world's second largest hydroelectric dam. Well, not being engineering enthusiasts we were quick to say no. But when we were told we couldn't get permission for the park for another hour their seemed little point standing around in the scalding heat. The air conditioned bus that drove us around was probably the highlight of the tour. Even in a second language it didn't take much to see through the propaganda machine. Favourite line: 'Itaipu helps children learn'. The dam has caused huge ecological damage, and while it provides power to 85% of Paraguayans and 25% of Brazilians to do so involved ruining scenery to rival the Igaucu Falls.

That said, the power company was required to set up a number of ecological reserves in exchange for the damage done. We thought we would stay at one after reading about the abundance of wildlife present. And bonus, cammping and tours of the park are free! Well we soon found out that you get what you pay for. The camping spot was picturesque and overlooked the river. But, you're not permitted to swim, facilities were reasonably basic, and it is putting it mildly to say we were a bit let down by the so-called walking tour. Reece was even told quite strictly by the gun-totalling ranger that t-shirts must be worn at all times, and no he couldn't wait to put one on until after his shower.

For the tour we were told to jump in a ute with a very odd man. While he did not say much to us he did offer us terere, Paraguayan's version of mate which is served with iced cold water. He managed to pour the iced water from his thermos into the mug and pass it back and forth between us all while negotiating the ute through the campsite. We were then told to get out for the first stop: a waterfall. He stayed in the car. Well I'm not sure what kind of response he was expecting from two tourists who had come from Iguacu the previous day, but in comparison this looked like a drip from a tap. All I could do was muster up something about the pretty butterflies. He didn't seem fazed.

Next stop Atlantic forest. It seemed the driver was not going to be guiding this tour, we were simply told the route was a mere 1.2 kilometres and he would meet us at the end. The brochure promised armadillos, endangered parrots, monkeys and more. What did we see? Spiders. Hundreds and hundreds of spiders. Not the daddy-long leg types that you find in the corner of your shower but size of your palm, ugly, black spiders all of which had chosen to construct their webs across the walkway blocking the path we were supposed to navigate.

With Reece self-nominated as sacrificial lamb we started the long walk to slaughter. With a large stick out in front, we weaved and ducked our way through the webs. About half way through a loud curse reverberated throughout the forest and Reece went down (slight exaggeration). I managed to escape only to stand on a bee back at the campsite later that afternoon. Ouch. Suffice to say with all this commotion there wasn't a lot of wildlife to be seen. Over an hour later we emerged from our one kilometre walk to meet our bewildered driver wondering what had taken us so long. After a day in Paraguay we were struggling to find a kind word to say about Paraguayan hospitality or nature. Our fortunes started to change that evening with a kind Christian group also staying in the park offering us a share of the 45 kilograms of asado they were cooking up that night!

Reece wielding his armour

They many not look quite so threatening here,
but trust me they were.